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Captain Cook (Blackadder)

"Captain Cook"
Blackadder Goes Forth episode
Episode no. Series 4
(Blackadder Goes Forth)

Episode 1
Directed by Richard Boden
Written by Ben Elton, Richard Curtis
Original air date 28 September 1989
Episode chronology
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"Duel and Duality"
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"Corporal Punishment"
List of Blackadder episodes

"Captain Cook", or "Plan A: Captain Cook", is the first episode of Blackadder Goes Forth, the fourth series of the BBC sitcom Blackadder.

The episode starts with Blackadder and Baldrick discussing the latter's latest feeble cunning plan: namely, Baldrick carving his name on a bullet to get around the fact that "there's a bullet with his name on it". Lt. George enters and provides Blackadder with a copy of the propaganda magazine King and Country, which Blackadder uses for toilet paper, and a new service revolver. Blackadder deduces that an advance against the Germans is imminent. Baldrick suggests that they take up cooking at HQ to get out of the assault but Blackadder shoots down the idea, knowing Baldrick is the worst cook in the world: his cream custard, for instance, is really just cat's vomit.

Shortly afterwards, Blackadder is called to the office of General Melchett for a special mission: Field Marshal Haig's supreme tactical plan (where the men climb out of their trenches and walk slowly towards the enemy...a plan they've used 18 times before) is weakening the men's morale, and he needs a piece of art for the front cover of King and Country. Blackadder is uninterested until he learns that the artist needs to leave the trenches for Paris, and attempts to paint a work of art by himself. He and Baldrick both fail, but when George reveals he can paint surprisingly well, Blackadder gets him to paint a picture of a British soldier (resembling Blackadder) standing next to the body of a dead nun in a ruined French village.

When Melchett and Captain Darling arrive to inspect their work, Blackadder displays his own painting "War" in place of George's. The General rejects it; George tries to protest, but he and Baldrick are only to speak when given permission by Blackadder, which the Captain refuses to grant. The next painting, Baldrick's "My Family and Other Animals", shows vomit and is rejected by Melchett as well. Blackadder proceeds to take credit for George's painting, earning himself the position of war artist.


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