Up the Chastity Belt

Up the Chastity Belt
Australian poster
Directed by	Bob Kellett
Produced by	Terry Glinwood Ned Sherrin
Written by	Sid Colin Ray Galton Alan Simpson
Starring	Frankie Howerd
Music by	Carl Davis
Cinematography	Ian Wilson
Edited by	Al Gell
Distributed by	Anglo-EMI
Release date	1971
Running time	94 min
Country	United Kingdom
Language	English

Up the Chastity Belt (also released as Naughty Knights in the USA) is a 1971 British film, a spin-off from the TV series Up Pompeii! that starred Frankie Howerd and was directed by Bob Kellett.

Howerd played dual roles as King Richard the Lionheart and cowardly peasant Lurkalot (his character in Up Pompeii was the slave Lurcio). The plot served as an excuse to serve up the usual collection of puns and double entendres that characterised most British film comedy in the 1970s, but did feature Eartha Kitt singing "A Knight for My Nights" and Hugh Paddick (of Julian and Sandy fame in the Round the Horne BBC radio series) as a notable Robin Hood, leader of a band of men who were camp homosexual rather than merry.

Eleanor of Aquitaine gave birth to twin sons – Lurkalot first and then Richard. But the nobles of the country – led by Sir Braggart de Bombast (Bill Fraser) intercepted Lurkalot, stole him away and abandoned him in a forest to die. He was raised by a family of pigs who belonged to Sir Coward de Custard (Graham Crowden) who realised he wasn't a pig and took him in as a serf. By way of remittance, Lurkalot aids his master by selling love potions and chastity belts as well as some unusual inventions in the local village as Sir Coward isn't particularly successful a noble. Lurkalot is also visited by strange "voices" in the middle of the night who speak to him and try to tell him who he really is but get drowned out by events like lightning.

All grown up, Richard is bored by ruling England and decides to go on a crusade. Meanwhile, Sir Braggart de Bombast wants to acquire Sir Coward's lands and daughter for himself and makes him an offer. Sir Coward refuses but invites Sir Braggart and his followers to a banquet so as not to offend where a scene is made and Sir Coward refuses to toast Prince John. Offended, Sir Braggart challenges Sir Coward to a duel with Lady Lobelia (Anne Aston) as the prize. Lurkalot, although not a Knight, takes up the challenge as the "Man with no name" and defeats Sir Braggart's champion, Sir Grumbell de Grunt (David Prowse) with the aid of a giant magnet. Realising that the rules of chivalry have not been met, Sir Braggart declares the duel void and declares war. Lurkalot and Lady Lobelia flee the scene to his workshop where to protect his master's daughter, he locks her up with a chastity belt.