Tongan funerals

Funerals in Tonga, despite the large Christian influence they have undergone over the last 150 years or so, are still very much a traditional affair and an important part of the culture of Tonga, especially if it concerns the death of a member of the royal family or a high chief.

The influence of Christianity on Anga Faka Tonga (Tongan culture) is seen in the black clothing worn by mourners during the mourning period. The period of mourning, and thus the obligation to wear black, differs depending on how closely related a mourner is to the deceased. For an acquaintance it may be a few days; for a distant relation it may be a few weeks whilst for close relatives the mourning period may last for up to a year. This is irrespective whether a taʻovala is worn or not. For those in uniform a black armband is allowed instead.

Appearing in public during this period a taʻovala (mat tied around the waist) is much recommended, and it should be during that time a mourning taʻovala. And for sure when attending the funeral itself, it is obligatory. What kind of mat is worn depends on the relationship to the deceased. Close relatives who are "inferior", in kinship terms, or "brother's" side, wear old, coarse, torn mats, sometimes even old floor mats. These are the relatives who do the hard, dirty work of preparing the ʻumu at the funeral. Relatives on the "sister's side" wear fine mats, often family heirloom mats. Those who are not related at all should wear fine mats that are fakaʻahu, or smoked over a fire until they are a rich mahogany color.

Over the course mats loose strips of pandanus may be worn, as whether it is a kiekie. This is the fakaaveave (meaning: like an asparagus), and also a sign of respect. In the later days of the mourning period the fakaaveave can be worn alone without the bulky taʻovala.

In the case of the death of a king, everybody is inferior of course, and only the course mats are worn. Some are very huge ones for close relatives.

As soon as the death has occurred all family members will be notified, nowadays often by a radio message and they are supposed to come to the putu (funeral rites), no excuses. For friends or distantly related members it is enough that they come, pay their respect to the dead, bring a small gift for the widow (or whatever the case may be), have their share of food and then leave until the actual burial. The household of the deceased is supposed to provide a meal, or meals if it takes long, to all mourners. In case of a large family this is a huge and expensive operation with big ʻumu, and tons of food.

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Wikipedia