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The Whisky Priest (Yes Minister)

"The Whisky Priest"
Yes Minister episode
Episode no. Series 3
Episode 6
Written by Antony Jay
Jonathan Lynn
Produced by Peter Whitmore
Original air date 16 December 1982
Guest appearance(s)
Episode chronology
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List of Yes Minister and Yes, Prime Minister episodes

John Fortune
Diana Hoddinott

"The Whisky Priest" is the twentieth episode of the BBC comedy series Yes Minister and was first broadcast 16 December 1982. The title refers to the term "whisky priest".

Jim Hacker and his wife, Annie, are at their London flat. The Minister receives a visit from an army officer, Major Saunders, who has some information that he wouldn't divulge over the phone. Saunders stresses that what he has to say is highly confidential, and that he is telling Hacker on a personal level and not in his capacity as a minister. Saunders goes on to explain that Hacker once wrote an article for Reform, deploring the sale of British arms to foreign despots and dictators. Now, Saunders reveals, computerised bomb detonators are being exported legally from the United Kingdom and being sold to Italian terrorists. He wants Hacker to investigate the matter and take immediate action.

The next day, Hacker is in his office with Sir Humphrey Appleby and Bernard Woolley. He brings up the issue, and asks about the procedure for exporting arms. Sir Humphrey explains that a dealer would have to provide an end-user certificate, which should contain the signature of a party who is approved by HM Government. He also says that contracts for smaller weapons are subject to "meticulous scrutiny", which signals to Hacker that it is indeed a facade. The Minister tells Sir Humphrey what he learned the previous evening. The mandarin affects an air of indifference, believing it to be another department's problem: nothing to do with the DAA. Hacker tries to convince him that innocent lives are being put at risk, but Sir Humphrey responds, "Only Italian lives, not British lives, Minister." Hacker is set on pursuing the matter, but the civil servant begs him not to. The pair argue over the morality of the practice, but Sir Humphrey is adamant that it is not his job to care: he is there to carry out government policy ("frightfully well" as it happens). Hacker now sees that his Permanent Secretary is only committed to means and not ends, and states that he is a "moral vacuum". He asks Bernard to make an appointment for him to visit the Prime Minister: he intends to fully inform him, despite Sir Humphrey's advice. After Hacker leaves, Bernard confesses his doubts to Sir Humphrey, and asks if he should believe in the policies that the civil service is asked to carry out. His superior notes that if he had believed in all the opposing policies of the eleven governments that he has served, he would be a "stark-staring raving schizophrenic." They must come up with a plan to stop Hacker from telling the Prime Minister in case he lifts the lid on a can of worms. After some prompting, Bernard decides the best course of action is to arrange for the Minister to be intercepted by the Chief Whip.


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