Oh! Mr Porter

"Oh! Mr Porter" is an old British music hall song about a girl "going too far". It was famously part of the repertoires of the artistes Norah Blaney and Marie Lloyd. It was written in 1892 by George Le Brunn and his brother Thomas, and taken on an extended provincial tour that same year by Marie Lloyd. The lyrics include this chorus:

Birmingham is the second city of England. Crewe is a town better known as a railway junction than as a destination.

The song is alluded to in the 1922 novel Ulysses by James Joyce.

The 1937 film Oh, Mr Porter! starring Will Hay was clearly at least in part inspired by the song "Oh! Mr Porter". Hay's character is called Mr William Porter; although he is not in fact a railway porter, but the stationmaster of a Northern Irish station; this leads to some confusion, typical of Hay's films. A snatch of the song can be heard over the opening credits although this version says, "I want to go to Birmingham, and they're taking me on to Crewe! Oh, Mr Porter! What a funny man you are!"

In 1966, the band Herman's Hermits recorded an arrangement of the song by Kenny Lynch. It consists essentially of the chorus repeated several times, but with Liverpool and Manchester as desired destinations rather than Birmingham.Liverpool was the birthplace of beat music, but this band originated from Manchester.

The song was adapted for use in the 1996–97 BBC television situation comedy Oh, Doctor Beeching! and sung by Su Pollard.

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