List of Bo' Selecta! characters

This is a list of fictional characters from the television series Bo' Selecta!

Craig David is one of the main Bo' Selecta characters. His catchphrases are "Proper Reet Bo" and "Proper Bo, I tell thee!". He is portrayed as having a very large chin, with a beard made with a pen. Craig has a very strong Yorkshire accent. He carries around a plastic Peregrine Falcon on his wrist named "Kes", as a reference to the film, Kes. Kes was apparently bought off a man in Huddersfield who had a dog with one leg. He calls Kes a bastard, often when calling her to return. Craig also wears a beanie hat, and his iconic headphones from his "Born to Do It" album cover. In the first series, a segment entitled "Craig David's Life Story" is featured, showing events such as David visiting the doctor to be fitted with a Urostomy bag (which he often fails to wear at night and wets the bed), and attempting to break the American market but catches a flight to Mallorca by accident. For the second series, each episode segment follows him on his nationwide UK tour, in which he meets Michael Jackson, goes dating, goes for a walk, meets the real Craig David, and performs in front of a live audience. In the third series, he attempts to break America again, unsuccessfully. Along the way, he makes a music video for his song "Soda Pop", and gets himself a makeover from Mel B. He appeared in Bo! in the USA, in a weekly segment in which he tries to seduce Holly Valance and earn himself a bronze swimming award. Leigh Francis stated in an interview with Metro that the character was based on Billy Casper from Kes, rather than the singer Craig David.

Mel B is portrayed as a drunk, scary, and dirty old woman. She has white skin, red hair, and a massive nose. She speaks in a northern accent and wears a leopard-print top, revealing a disturbingly hairy chest. Her best known catchphrase is "yer bastard ya!", whilst often making remarks regarding lesbian sex and her minge, which she describes as smelling like crab paste. In the first series, she features in a segment in which she promotes her new book, which discusses the split of the Spice Girls and her love for her stuffed tiger. In the second series, she becomes a non-weekly character, only appearing three times during the series, appearing in segments when she goes on holiday, shows us her "Crib" and talks about Girls Aloud. In the third series, she becomes a regular character again, and appears in a segment entitled "The Odd Couple". The segment shows her living with singer and actress Patsy Kensit, whom she is always trying to seduce and with whom she eventually has a drunken one night stand in the final episode. She also appears in Bo! in the USA, however, as a non-regular character.

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