Two Stories (House)

"Two Stories" is the thirteenth episode of the seventh season of the American medical drama House. It aired on February 21, 2011. The entire narrative of the episode takes place through a series of flashbacks within flashbacks similar to the Season 1 episode "Three Stories".

An elderly recess lady catches two students, Zack and Colleen, kissing behind the Brye Park school. When they are escorted to the principal's office, they see House sitting outside.

Hours earlier, House, calling himself Dr. Hourani, was a speaker at the school's Career Day as a favor to get Cuddy's daughter Rachel into Brye Park in order to show Cuddy that he cares about her. He is talking to the class about his latest case that involves a patient who just coughed up a lung, however, a boy in the class believes he is lying because he tells his story using the plot from Pulp Fiction.

Colleen and Zack interrupt his story demand to know what House did to get sent to the principal's office. House deflects by asking Colleen how she got her black eye. They make a deal that they will tell House how Colleen got a black eye if House tells them how an adult can get sent to the principal's office.

Back in his story, House admits that he was trying to make his presentation interesting. He tells them about the parts of the story that are true and shares his opinion on his job with the students. The teacher asks House to tell what he actually does and walk them through a "routine physical". House then tells the fifth grade class about a middle-aged woman who is overusing her vibrator. The teacher decides to move on but not without allowing House to finish his story.

In his story, House invites Cuddy to lunch but she says no and calls him a jerk. Colleen, back in the principal's office, wants to know why Cuddy is angry at House. After an argument between Colleen and House, House gets Colleen to tell him a small part of her story after accusing her of being a tease. This flashes back to the student's storyline where Colleen yells at Zach, calling him a loser, which she says proves that she's not a tease.

House now tells the class, in his flashback, about the patient portraying his staff in a stereotypical fashion with Chase and Taub hitting on the nurse and Masters threatening to tell Cuddy. Realizing he is never going to finish his story, the teacher asks House to step down, and when the class protests House tries lying, but they call him on it. House is now at the part of the story where the patient coughs up his lung.