Scatty Safari

Tony Blackburn as himself
Sheila Steafel (voice) as the Queen
David Willmott as Rolf Harris
Rusty Goffe (uncredited) as Little Rolf Harris

"Scatty Safari" is an episode of the award-winning British comedy television series The Goodies.

This episode is also known as "The Existence of Rolf Harris" and "Pied Piper Goodies versus the Rolf Harris Plague".

Written by The Goodies, with songs and music by Bill Oddie.

When they lose their main attraction, Tony Blackburn, the Goodies have to come up with another star attraction to replace him in "The Goodies *Star* Safari Park".

After considering and rejecting other big-time show names, they eventually decide on Rolf Harris, with Bill, reading the "Observers Book of Stars", "Rolf Harris — number of legs, variable" (a reference to Harris' song Jake the Peg). According to the book, Rolf Harris is an all-round entertainer whose natural habitat is Australia.

The Goodies' arrival in Australia is marked by photos of the Sydney Opera House and the Sydney Harbour Bridge — also seen are a kangaroo, koalas and kookaburras. The Goodies go into the " Outfitters" shop and reappear with cork hats — Bill's hat still has the bottles attached to the corks.

Noticing headlines in a newspaper stating that Rolf Harris had been seen in the Outback, the Goodies go there in search of their quarry (to the strains of "Waltzing Matilda").

When they get Rolf Harris back to their safari park in England, he is unhappy. Graeme comments that there used to be thousands of Rolf Harrises all over Australia, but that there were probably only a half dozen left now – "it was the beards they were after". However, there was another Rolf Harris in captivity, in the Moscow Zoo, which Graeme had arranged to have delivered to the safari park in the hope that they would breed — and, a year later, in the "Rolfus Harriscus" enclosure, a baby Rolf Harris can be seen. All goes well until the Rolf Harrises escape from the safari park. The Goodies are upset at losing their latest star attractions, and are also very worried — Rolf Harrises used to be all over Australia, and they were prolific breeders.