Narcissistic parent

A narcissistic parent is a parent affected by narcissism or narcissistic personality disorder. Typically narcissistic parents are exclusively and possessively close to their children and may be especially envious of, and threatened by, their child's growing independence. The result may be what has been termed a pattern of narcissistic attachment, with the child considered to exist solely to fulfill the parent's wishes and needs. Relative to developmental psychology, narcissistic parenting will adversely affect children in the areas of reasoning, emotional, ethical, and societal behaviors and attitudes as they mature. Within the realm of narcissistic parenting, personal boundaries are often disregarded with the goal of moulding and manipulating the child to satisfy the parents’ expectations.

Narcissistic people with low self esteem feel the need to control how others regard them, fearing they will be blamed or rejected and personal inadequacies exposed. They are self-absorbed, some to the point of grandiosity; and being preoccupied with protecting their self image, they tend to be inflexible, and lack the empathy necessary for child raising.

The term “narcissism,” as used in Sigmund Freud’s clinical study, noted behavioral observations such as self-aggrandizement, self-esteem vulnerability, fear of losing the affection of people and of failure, reliance on defense mechanisms, perfectionism and interpersonal conflict.

Narcissism tends to play out inter-generationally, with narcissistic parents producing either narcissistic or codependent children in turn. Whereas a self-confident parent – the good-enough parent – can allow a child its autonomous development, the narcissistic parent may instead use the child as a means to promote their own image. The father concerned with self-enhancement – with being mirrored and admired by a son – may leave the latter feeling a puppet to his father's emotional/intellectual demands.

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