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I Take Thee Quagmire

"I Take Thee Quagmire"
Family Guy episode
Episode no. Season 4
Episode 21
Directed by Seth Kearsley
Written by Tom Maxwell
Don Woodard
Steve Callaghan
Production code 4ACX23
Original air date March 12, 2006
Guest appearance(s)
Episode chronology
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Family Guy (season 4)
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"I Take Thee Quagmire" is the 21st episode of season four of Family Guy, originally broadcast on March 12, 2006. Peter wins free maid service for a week; he intentionally creates extra work for the maid, Joan. Quagmire meets her and instantly falls in love with her, leading him to propose to her after the second date. After the marriage, Quagmire comes to regret his new relationship, but learns that Joan will kill him and herself if he leaves her, so he fakes his own death.

The episode was written by Tom Maxwell, Don Woodard and Steve Callaghan and directed by Seth Kearsley. It received mostly positive reviews from critics for its storyline and many cultural references. According to Nielsen ratings, it was viewed in 8.06 million homes in its original airing. The episode featured guest performances by Adam Carolla, Stephan Cox, Bryan Cranston, Darrel Heath, Beth Littleford, Christy Carlson Romano, Nicole Sullivan, Fred Tatasciore, Alex Thomas, and Alex Trebek, as well as several recurring voice actors for the series.

Peter is a contestant on Wheel of Fortune, advances to the bonus round, and wins, despite choosing Z, 4, three Qs, and the Batman symbol for his consonants and vowel, and taking a self-described "shot in the dark" with his answer, "Alex Karras in Webster", managing to get the correct answer on his first try, to Pat's absolute shock. He chooses, among several other prizes, one week of free maid service. When his maid Joan arrives, Peter has her pull items out of his belly button (including, among other things, a ColecoVision set and a carton of Parliament Cigarettes to the shock of Peter, who says he hasn't smoked in ten years), and rides on her back, like a horse, to the store. Peter decides to over-work Joan on her last night by giving Meg a watermelon filled with chocolate pudding and firecrackers, which explodes in her face. After being introduced to her by Peter, Quagmire falls in love with her. After dating Joan, Quagmire proposes marriage to her, which she accepts and the couple prepare their marriage ceremony. Lois, Peter and their neighbors visit Quagmire's house, finding that he has changed his personality significantly. Peter still believes this to be a prank and shows Quagmire porn magazines in an attempt to change him back to his former ways. Meanwhile, Lois begins to question whether she should keep breastfeeding Stewie, as he's hurting her when feeding.


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