Diatribe of a Mad Housewife

Tom Clancy as himself
Thomas Pynchon as himself
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen as themselves

"Diatribe of a Mad Housewife" is the tenth episode of The Simpsons' fifteenth season. It originally aired on the Fox network in the United States on January 25, 2004. Marge is inspired to write a romance novel, though after Homer hears rumors that Marge is secretly in love with Ned Flanders due to the storyline of the novel, he grows jealous. Meanwhile, Homer buys an ambulance and becomes an ambulance driver.

After his reckless driving causes an accident, Homer is fired from his job at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. Homer attempts to become a car salesman, but ends up purchasing a 1959 ambulance; he begins acting as a paramedic. Meanwhile, Marge is inspired to write a novel after a visit to a bookstore, and begins to write about whaling times. The main characters in Marge's novel are inspired by herself, Homer, and Ned Flanders, while romance is the central theme. She completes the book, titled The Harpooned Heart, and after it receives positive reviews, she decides to get it published. Helen Lovejoy soon begins to spread rumors that the novel is based on Marge's life.

After Homer is teased by several people, who imply that Ned is Marge's secret love, Homer decides to read the book. After arguing with Marge, Homer decides to get revenge on Ned. He chases him in his ambulance after Ned flees. Ned is sure Homer is going to kill him when they are on the cliff, and is stunned when Homer drops to his knees and begs Ned to show him how to be a good husband. Marge arrives in a panic but is relieved that Homer and Ned are speaking. Homer and Marge later decide to make create a novel, titled "Who Really Killed JFK".