"Brown Shoes Don't Make It" is a song by The Mothers of Invention, written by band leader Frank Zappa. It is the 14th and penultimate song on their second album Absolutely Free. The song is one of his most widely renowned works, declared by the AllMusic as "Zappa's first real masterpiece".

The title was inspired by an event covered by Time magazine reporter Hugh Sidey in 1966. The reporter correctly guessed that something was amiss when the fastidiously dressed President Lyndon B. Johnson made the sartorial faux pas of wearing brown shoes with a gray suit. Johnson flew to Vietnam for a surprise public relations visit later that day.

A live version of this song is featured on the album Tinsel Town Rebellion.

The lyrics start off as a general attack on suburban American society: TV, greed and conformity are all mocked openly in the song. It then shifts in tone, dealing with a city hall official fantasizing about having sex with a thirteen-year-old girl.

The music makes several stylistic shifts, covering hard rock, classical, psychedelic rock, music hall and jazz. It is cited by AllMusic as being a "condensed two-hour musical". The song lasts 7:30 and is the twelfth track (fourteenth on CD reissues) on Absolutely Free. According to Zappa, the beginning background music was inspired by Lightnin' Slim's "Have Your Way".

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