Aunt Agatha Takes the Count

"Aunt Agatha Takes the Count"
1922 Cosmopolitan illustration by T. D. Skidmore
Author	P. G. Wodehouse
Country	United Kingdom
Language	English
Series	Jeeves
Genre(s)	Comedy
Publisher	The Strand Magazine
Media type	Print (Magazine)
Publication date	April 1922
Preceded by	"Jeeves in the Springtime"
Followed by	"Scoring off Jeeves"

"Aunt Agatha Takes the Count" (also published as "Aunt Agatha Makes a Bloomer") is a short story by P. G. Wodehouse, and features the young gentleman Bertie Wooster and his valet Jeeves. The story was published in The Strand Magazine in London in April 1922, and then in Cosmopolitan in New York in October 1922. The story was also included in the 1923 collection The Inimitable Jeeves as two separate chapters, "Aunt Agatha Speaks Her Mind" and "Pearls Mean Tears".

Bertie receives a letter from his aunt, Agatha Gregson, bidding him to join her at Roville-sur-mer, a French resort. Bertie, who cannot disobey his intimidating Aunt Agatha, consoles himself with the hope of wearing a bright scarlet cummerbund he bought.

At the resort, Bertie meets Aunt Agatha, who scolds Bertie for wasting his life and not being married. She has found a suitable match for him: Aline Hemingway. Aline then appears, along with her brother Sidney, a curate. Aunt Agatha introduces them to Bertie, who finds them dull.

In his room, Bertie cheers himself up by wearing his scarlet cummerbund. Jeeves disapproves of the cummerbund, but Bertie wears it anyway. Later, Bertie takes the unpleasant Hemingways for a drive. Afterwards, he asks Jeeves for help in escaping marriage to Aline, but Jeeves continues to disapprove of the cummerbund and gives no advice.

Bertie tries to avoid the Hemingways, but Aline and Sidney come to see him. Sidney, distraught, confesses that he has gambled away the loan he received from a sympathetic parishioner, whom Sidney repaid with a cheque. When the cheque is not honoured by his bank, Sidney will be ruined. Aline begs Bertie for a loan. Bertie gladly agrees to, but then Aline also insists that Bertie take her pearl necklace as security. Though Bertie is reluctant, he gives them the money, and a receipt, in exchange for the case of the pearl necklace. The Hemingways thank Bertie and leave.

After Jeeves mildly reproaches Bertie's rashness, Bertie discovers that the necklace case is empty. Jeeves tells Bertie about a former employer who once gave a loan, with a pearl necklace as security, to a con man named Soapy Sid and his female accomplice. Soapy Sid swapped the case of pearls for an empty one, and used the receipt to demand reimbursement. Jeeves confirms that Sidney is Soapy Sid. Fortunately, Jeeves surreptitiously retrieved the case of pearls while helping Sidney with his jacket. Jeeves suggests that Bertie return the necklace to its owner, Aunt Agatha, and to make it clear to her that Aline was one of the thieves.