Wedding tradition

The Wedding procedure starts with the groom's side sending elders (Shimagle) who then request a union between the parties. The elders discuss a dowry (ጧሎሽ) and verify that the intended bride and groom are not relatives by checking their lineage a minimum of seven generations. After a dowry is agreed upon and it has been determined that there is no relationship between the intended bride and groom, the wedding is announced and the families begin preparations for a church/mosque ceremony and a mels/melsi ceremony. On the wedding day the groom and groomsmen (ሚዜ) get ready at the groom's house early in the morning and proceed to the bride's parents house to begin the wedding ceremonies. At the bride's parent's house, the bride gets ready and is seated awaiting the groom's arrival. As the groom and his wedding party arrive, the bride's family and friends ceremonially block the entrance to the house. The groomsmen have to either serenade or bribe their way into the house so that the groom can take the bride with him. Additionally, the best man holds perfume and sprays it everywhere inside the bride's family house. After this ceremony, the groom retrieves his bride and they along with a procession go to a church/mosque to take their wedding vows.

After the religious ceremony, the wedding procession moves to a park/garden where lunch is served to guests. Afterwards, the wedding party typically takes pictures while guests make their way to the reception. At the reception, depending on the family's ethnic group there are several traditional dances performed. Ethiopian weddings typically serve Ethiopian food and live music and the party typically goes on into the early morning. To close the wedding ceremony, elders are seated at the exit of the venue and the bride and groom along with the wedding party bow and kiss the knees of the elders as they exit the venue. This is typically the conclusion the first day of a typical Ethiopian wedding.

During the mels/i ceremony is dependent on the ethnic heritage of the family but it is typically smaller than the first ceremony and a time for close friends and family to spend some time with each other and continue to celebrate the newly married couple.

Customarily, marriage proceedings often begin with the man proposing to the woman. Upon her acceptance the man then calls for a meeting with his clan elders who largely consist of extended elderly family members. A delegation carrying small gifts is then sent to the woman's home to meet with her clan elders. Deliberations on bride price actually begin on a later date and these are strictly conducted by the older men only. Upon completion of these negotiations, a wedding date is set, with the elders having provided an acceptable percentage of the full dowry. The rest of the dowry is expected later. No request is made for it, but the young man is expected to remember to finish his payment and failure to do so spells dishonor for that family.

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