"Turkey Guys" is the fifth episode of the thirteenth season of the animated sitcom Family Guy, and the 236th episode overall. It aired on Fox in the United States on November 16, 2014, and is written by Cherry Chevapravatdumrong and directed by Julius Wu.

On Thanksgiving morning, Lois sees Peter's photos in which he claims he and Brian ate the entire turkey planned for dinner that night, so Lois sends them out to find a replacement. Searching every store within sixty miles, they finally find the last one at the Highland Park Market. Peter's antics result in Brian making a deal that he will guard the turkey while Peter drives the car; Peter is not familiar with Brian's hybrid car and drives it into a lake, nearly killing Brian while destroying his car and cellphone. Given a lift to the bus station, the two get on the bus, but are kicked off when Peter defecates into a bag. Peter steals a girl's bicycle off the back of the bus, but his pants fall down and get caught in the chain, causing an accident which destroys the bike. An attempt at hitch-hiking fails when the driver orders Peter at gunpoint to hand the turkey over. Brian calls Peter stupid, to which he responds by telling him that he had eaten the turkey by himself and framed Brian. As a result, Brian stomps off in anger.

Meanwhile, Lois' concern about Peter being out allows Stewie to convince Chris to step up as man of the house for the dinner. Stewie tries to coach Chris into his duties as the guests arrive. Lois is forced to stall for time entertaining guests. Lois greets her guests consisting of her parents, Quagmire, the Brown-Tubbs family, and the Swansons, including Kevin's new short girlfriend. Deciding to bail her out when Carter Pewterschmidt talks about the recent development in store products, Stewie finds Chris unable to handle the pressure as he gets inebriated, and Stewie is forced to step in.

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