"Touch Me I'm Sick" is a song by the American alternative rock band Mudhoney. It was recorded in March 1988 at Seattle's Reciprocal Recording studio with producer Jack Endino. "Touch Me I'm Sick" was released as Mudhoney's debut single by independent record label Sub Pop on August 1, 1988. The song's lyrics, which feature dark humor, are a sarcastic take on issues such as disease and violent sex.

When it was first released, "Touch Me I'm Sick" was a hit on the indie circuit; it remains the band's most recognizable song. The heavily distorted and fuzzy guitars, snarling vocals, blunt bass line and energetic drumming contributed to a dirty sound that influenced many local musicians, and helped develop the nascent Seattle grunge scene. According to Allmusic, "the song's raw, primal energy made it an instant anthem which still stands as one of [grunge's] all-time classics".

According to Mudhoney vocalist Mark Arm, "Touch Me I'm Sick" originated from a discussion with Sub Pop owner Bruce Pavitt, who "said: 'Hey, you sing about dogs. You sing about being sick. You got a shtick, it'll take you to the top.' And he basically gave us five chords, but he said don't use more than three within one song." Arm also states that "Touch Me I'm Sick" was a catchphrase around which the band built a song.

Mudhoney recorded the song at Seattle's Reciprocal Recording studio in March 1988, three months after the band's formation. Producer Jack Endino was surprised by how noisy the sessions were and how dirty the band wanted the guitars to sound; "for the most part, I just sort of stood back and let them go at it". Guitarist Steve Turner said that the band selected two of their "grungiest" songs for the single. "Sweet Young Thing Ain't Sweet No More" was to be the A-side of the single and "Touch Me I'm Sick" the B-side before, in drummer Dan Peters's words, "that all got flipped around".

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