The Wettest Stories Ever Told

"The Wettest Stories Ever Told" is the eighteenth episode of The Simpsons’ seventeenth season. It originally aired on the Fox network in the United States on April 23, 2006.

When the Simpsons' plans for a nice family outing at the Frying Dutchman turn into a dining disaster (due to an uncooperative octopus armed with knives), the family tries to salvage the night by telling three nautically themed stories.

Bart, Lisa and a widowed Marge board the Mayflower to head for the new world. Homer, fleeing from the police, boards the ship and hides in a barrel. Homer is immediately attracted to Marge, however, Moe (who killed Marge's previous husband), schemes to marry her, and is instantly jealous of their friendship. Moe takes Homer down to the storage room to play a drinking game, taking a drink whenever a wave hits the boat. Homer and the rest of the crew get drunk, and Moe claims that Homer is responsible, leading Captain “Flandish” (Flanders) and Reverend Lovejoy to place him in a .

A storm approaches, and Captain Flandish is knocked unconscious. Homer claims that he steers better when he's drunk, and leads them safely out of the storm. Homer and Marge get together, and the members of the Mayflower meet the Wampanoag tribe and join them for the first Thanksgiving feast.

The Bounty sets sail from England in 1789, commanded by Captain Bligh (Seymour Skinner). During the first 718 days of the voyage, Bligh severely mistreats his crew, not giving them water and discarding their mail. Willie warns him of a mutiny if he continues, but Bligh ignores him. They arrive in Tahiti, where Homer and Marge are the rulers of island, and the crew have a wonderful time until it is time to leave.