The Unvarnished Truth

The Unvarnished Truth is a 1978 play by British author Royce Ryton.

A comedy drama, The Unvarnished Truth opened in London's West End at the Phoenix Theatre in 1978, starring Royce Ryton, Jo Kendall, Graeme Garden and Tim Brooke-Taylor. It later went on a national tour. It was directed by Jonathan Lynn and produced by Michael Codron.

The script was published in 1978 by Samuel French Ltd..

Tom and Annabel are a reasonably happy married couple. One evening they have an argument as to who loves the other more. A rough-and-tumble ensues, and Tom discovers to his horror that Annabel has been killed by a flung beanbag chair. In his panic he phones the police as well as his literary agent, Bill. The policeman who appears shortly after turns out to be Tom's old friend from the army, Bert. After giving Bert the details of Annabel's death, Bert assures Tom that no one will believe such a ridiculous murder and Tom will be put away for sure. Tom's mother-in-law, Mrs. Cartwright, knocks which results in Bert and Tom stashing Annabel's body in the bathroom. Bert tries to distract Mrs. Cartwright with a funny story but this only results in her laughing herself into a heart attack. Now dealing with two bodies, Tom and Bert become frantic. Bill knocks, responding to Tom's earlier call, and Tom and Bert stash Mrs. Cartwright's body in the bathroom as well. Tom begins to explain but, being a murder mystery playwright, Bill mistakes Tom's story for the plot of his next play. When it's revealed that Tom's story is true to life, Bill becomes frightened and attempts to leave. The nasty landlady, Mrs. Stewart-Dubonnet, knocks and demands Bill move his car. Her horrible attitude begins a row and, after much arguing, Bill shoves her aside to get out the door only to end up knocking her out on the door frame. Bill wanders back and Bert and Tom confirm that she is also now dead. The three men begin to cry as they contemplate their imminent demise at the hands of the law when Tom suggests that perhaps they'll all get to share a cell. The men weep harder as the first act ends.

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