That's My Wife (1929 film)

That's My Wife
Theatrical release poster
Directed by	Lloyd French
Produced by	Hal Roach
Written by	Leo McCarey (story) H. M. Walker (titles)
Starring	Stan Laurel Oliver Hardy
Cinematography	George Stevens
Edited by	Richard C. Currier
Distributed by	Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer
Release date	March 23, 1929 (1929-03-23)
Running time	20 minutes
Country	United States
Language	Silent film English (Original intertitles)

That's My Wife is a 1929 short comedy silent film produced by the Hal Roach Studios and starring Laurel and Hardy. It was shot in December 1928 and released March 23, 1929 by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer with a synchronized music and sound effects track in theaters equipped for sound.

Mr. Hardy's house had become less and less of a home since Mr. Laurel joined the family.

There is not even a hint of happiness in the Hardy household: by just the second shot, Mrs. Hardy, hatted, has trudged down the steps with suitcase in hand and an angry scowl on her face. She points to the source of her irritation off-camera, and in a funny pan over to the sofa, there's an empty-faced Stan sitting with a cigar in his mouth. Mrs. H is having none of her husband's attempts at conciliation — "He leaves! Or I leave!" — and after just a moment of hesitation from Ollie, she makes good on her threat. "Uncle Bernal won't leave us a dime if you go," Ollie offers, but she shows how much she cares about that by sweeping two planters off their stands and onto the floor as she pounds out the door.

And thus is set off the rest of the story. First Stan and Ollie have a round of vase smashing in the living room and Stan announces that he, too, will be leaving the premises. Then the doorbell rings — and of course it is Uncle Bernal. Some astonishingly fast sweeping conceals the evidence of the recent destructive contretemps, and Ollie greets Uncle B cordially. The two settle in on the sofa and Uncle Bernal says he wants to meet the little lady. Before Ollie can say she's not home, Stan slams a drawer upstairs and Ollie is forced to say, "I'll bring her down."

Upstairs, Ollie drafts Stan into playing the absent Magnolia and supervises his wardrobe transformation, then hurries back down to ride herd on inquisitive Uncle B, who has discovered telltale debris of planters and vases behind the sofa. Ollie paves the way for his "wife's" grand entrance by telling his uncle that "She's not much to look at — But what a clown." Said entrance is indeed grand — when "she" turns her ankle and bounces down the steps with legs widely akimbo. Bernal looks stunned after his first glimpse of his niece, but he smiles wanly when Ollie looks for approval. Out on the sofa, Stan tries to snare the cigar Bernal is offering Ollie, then Uncle offers dinner — and dancing — at The Pink Pup, and "won't take no for an answer."

At the supper club, Stan proves to be as inept a wife as he was a houseguest. When Ollie slips and pulls Stan down with him, "her" flailing attempts to get up are far removed from femininity; when her dumbbell-falsies tumble out, she has trouble staying in her chair. She does draw the gaze of a nearby drunk, as she was scratching her itchy leg in stockings, though, whose attentions turn increasingly amorous and culminate when he presents her with a centerpiece and the question: "Didn't I meet you in the fountain at Miami?" He makes himself at home at their table, tickling Stan under the chin and rubbing Uncle Bernal more and more the wrong way, until Uncle asks Ollie, "Why don't you do something forceful?" Ollie's forceful action is to turn his bowl of soup over the drunk's head and leave the bowl on top like a doughboy's tin hat. The drunk maintains his dignity: he asks for his check, and for a bowl of soup "to take out." He exits with his tuxedo soiled, his soup-bowl full, but self-esteem flying high. When Ollie commandeers Stan's soup to replace his own, a cutaway to Uncle Bernal suggests that he might be growing a little tired of his would-be heir.