Ted and Ralph are fictional characters created by Arthur Mathews and Graham Linehan, played by Paul Whitehouse and Charlie Higson in the BBC comedy sketch show The Fast Show. They featured in all three series of the show, and are arguably amongst the most recognised of the show's characters.
Lord Ralph Mayhew is an impoverished in his early 30s who lives in his family mansion on an expansive country estate. He has never married or had children and is secretly in love with Ted his Irish estate worker. Ralph is painfully shy and reserved, occasionally hinted to have previously suffered from mental illness. Ralph's parents were cold and uncaring, so it can be assumed that his affection for Ted was due to his idolising him as a father figure. The juxtaposition of Ralph's over-friendliness and Ted's embarrassed silence forms the basis for the humour in the sketches. Other characters, when seen, particularly Ted's fellow estate workers, seem aware of Ralph's sexuality and are uncomfortable in his presence, or make blatantly homophobic double-entendres, which Ralph always misses. Ralph was inspired by a documentary about film director John Boorman where he struggled to converse with his Irish gamekeeper.
Ted had worked for Lord Mayhew's late mother and father before Ralph inherited the estate. Ted is wiser than he seems and occasionally profound: Ralph sees through Ted's social status and takes his opinion very seriously. Ted's affection for Ralph, although usually well-hidden, is obvious. He never joins in making fun of him with his mates and on one occasion defends him when a friend makes a joke that refers to Ralph's feelings for him. Ted seems to want to protect Ralph's innocence, not letting his friends shoot Ralph's deer because he "likes to see them wandering about". Ted's wife Esther, often referred to as "Mrs. Ted", dies at the end of the third series. Ted's relationship with her seemed more familiar and comfortable than passionate, although he is affected badly by her death. Ted tries to maintain his sober and collected attitude when he and Ralph return to the estate after his wife's funeral but, in a rare moment of raw emotion, collapses with grief into Ralph's arms.
Linehan and Mathews pitched Ted and Ralph to Whitehouse in a pub by reading out the early sketch where Ralph invites Ted to a Tina Turner concert. Whitehouse responded by standing and performing Ted's part, adopting an Irish accent in imitation of Linehan (and despite the latter's protestations).