Techno Destructo

Techno Destructo is a former character in the American comedy metal band Gwar, depicted as their long-term archnemesis. The character was portrayed and created by Gwar co-founder Hunter Jackson.

Techno Destructo is described coming "from beyond Venus, beyond Jupiter, and that's way past Uranus, buddy," and that he "drinks multi-lube and jerks off to Popular Mechanics." It is known that Techno was one of the Scumdogs of the Universe - the Master's elite corps of warriors used to fight his ancient enemies (most notably Cardinal Syn; the video to "The Road Behind" shows Techno and Oderus teaming up against Syn, the only known footage of the two on the same team) - and that when Gwar opposed the Master, Techno opposed Gwar. The following millions of years, though never actually described in full, have Techno searching for his brethren to re-enlist them on the side of the Master. Gwar repeatedly engage in battle with him. His repeated defeats never seem to weaken his resolve, though, and neither does his enslavement (immediately following the Tour de Scum). He remains a slave for a number of years, working to take Gwar down from within. It was after the slave revolt that Techno regained his arm and revived Gor-Gor as a cyborg-zombie dinosaur. He didn't count on losing the remote control, which somehow found its way into Slymenstra's possession. With Gor-Borg out of his control, he was maimed, but remained alive.

It is explained from old entries at Gwar.net that Techno was responsible for sending the Morality Squad after Gwar, and that he summoned Cardinal Syn, who in turn dispatched Skulhedface. Using Techno's genitalia as a plug, Gwar was able to broadcast Slave Pit TV everywhere, and killed enough people to awaken the World Maggot, but were stopped by Skulhedface. With Skulhedface defeated, Techno tricked Gwar into thinking the year 1996 was in fact the year 1999 (the reason the tour was called RagNaRok N' Roll 1999), and thus, according to prophecy, the world was about to end with the coming of the comet RagNaRok. It was, in fact, not a comet, but Cardinal Syn. Gwar had to free Techno in order to defeat him.

After Cardinal Syn's defeat, Techno had raised enough support among Gwar's other slaves to begin his next series of plans to defeat Gwar. Using a robot duplicate of Sleazy P. Martini, Techno issued radioactive crack to Gwar, which hypnotized Slymenstra Hymen. Meanwhile, he genetically engineered abused penguins (abused by Gwar) into foul creatures as his second wave of attack. This was ultimately halted, but by then, Techno's wedding had begun. Once the crack wore off, however, Slymenstra exacted her revenge, but was not able to defeat him outright. Techno regained his arm and engaged Gwar once again, being defeated when the band revived Gor-Gor (with remnants of the radioactive crack) and had the beast disarm Techno once again. He was mentioned in the Ska-Parade session "Gwar vs. The Aquabats" in which he is said to be helping Gwar fight The Aquabats (though it's not known why he helped Gwar). Techno's final appearance with Gwar was on the 2000 Halloween tour.

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