Smells (Bottom)
| "Smells" | |
|---|---|
| Bottom episode | |
| Episode no. |
Series One Episode 001 |
| Directed by | Ed Bye |
| Written by | Ade Edmondson & Rik Mayall |
| Produced by | Ed Bye |
| Original air date | 17 September 1991 |
| Guest appearance(s) | |
Lee Cornes
Clive Mantle
Harriet Thorpe
Cindy Shelley
Carla Mendonça
Kevin McNally
"Smells" is the first episode of British sitcom Bottom. The episode was originally transmitted on Tuesday 17 September 1991.
Richie and Eddie are finding it impossible to attract women and they attempt to pick up women using sex spray supposedly loaded with pheromones.
One Friday night Richie and Eddie return home from a disappointing night on the pull - Richie's bird lies to him, claiming to be a lesbian and Eddie's been kicked in the testicles. In a desperate attempt to get a girlfriend, the two write a "lonely hearts" advert for Richie to put in the local paper. After trying several ideas including "Ugly Virgin Desperately Seeks Sex Of Any Description", "Hot Young Buck", "Foxy Stoat Seeks Pig", "Foxy Stoat On The Prowl", "Musky Sly Old Foxy Stoat" and finally "Minky Musky Sly Old Stoaty Stoaty Stoat" the two give up. Richie then spots an advert for a revolutionary new sex spray. The next day the pair visit the local sex-shop in order to buy a can each.
That night the pair prepare to go out. Richie uses up his biros drawing on chest hair, however he has to use a green pen, as he has used all the black pens ink on his legs; while in the bathroom, Eddie shaves his tongue. Eddie attempts to remove Richie's nasal hair (at Richie's request) using a pair of pliers. However he ends up throwing Richie around the room, this in turn leads to a fight between the two, until Richie stops it by saying they should take it out on the 'birds' later. Both apply the sex-spray liberally and Richie fantasises about finally "doing it". Eddie slowly becomes inebriated on the spray, after spraying it into his mouth.
The pair then venture to their local pub, "The Lamb and Flag", where Richie attempts to pick up the wife (Harriet Thorpe) of a large man (Clive Mantle). He and Eddie pretend to be insane in order to prevent him from beating them up, but not before Richie has his testicles crushed by the man. They then force themselves upon two attractive ladies (Cindy Shelley and Carla Mendonça) sat nearby, who are eager for them to leave. They leave them - in a less than subtle fashion - in order to buy condoms. In the toilet, Richie is punched by the large man.
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