Secrets Every Smart Traveler Should Know
| Secrets Every Smart Traveler Should Know | |
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| Music | Douglas Bernstein |
| Lyrics | Douglas Bernstein |
| Book | Barry Creyton Stan Freeman Nick Santa Maria Lesley Davison |
| Productions | 1997 Triad Theater 1999 Ibis Supper Club |
Secrets Every Smart Traveler Should Know was a musical comedy revue which opened off Broadway in 1997. It was based on Wendy Perrin's travel book. It depicted the woes of a group of travellers on their worldwide journeys, intercepted by short sketches based around amusing airport announcements, travel company phonelines and announcements by the 'pilot'.
The show's European premiere was in Cambridge, England, at the Playroom at Cambridge Arts Theatre, presented by the Cambridge University Musical Theatre Society.
Secrets Every Smart Traveler Should Know originally opened Off-Broadway at the Triad Theater on October 30, 1997. The original cast included James Darrah, Kathy Fitzgerald, Stan Freeman, Jay Leonhart, Liz McConahay and Michael McGrath. In 1998 the show transferred from the Triad Theater to the Ibis Supper Club where it remained until the end of its run. In all it ran for 953 performances before its closing in February 2000.
Flight Attendant (LIZ) announces the beginning of the show and instructs the audience to "fasten our seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy night." The CAST sings "I've Got A Secret" introducing us to the perils of travel and some savvy tips to avoid the pitfalls.
A distraught Business Traveler (JAMES) appears to be naked except for undershorts, or a towel around his waist. In "Naked in Pittsburgh" he laments the state and whereabouts of his luggage.
Next we see a hip and happy Traveler (MICHAEL) on the phone with an automated reservationist (KATHY). The reservationist guides an increasingly frustrated Traveler through options and automated loops until finally the weary Traveler's time limit expires and he is disconnected.
In "Star Search", an excited passenger (LIZ) sings about the riveting talent in the cruise ship talent show.
Then JAY details the unusual items he's managed to pick up from his travels. In "Customs", he can't understand why officials are giving him such a hard time.
A Car-Renter (MICHAEL) laments his exorbitant car rental bill with a sexy Hertz Reservations Clerk (LIZ) in "Hertz".
A tourist (KATHY) in "Acapulco" sings about the stunning and handsome souvenirs she brought back from her vacation.
Then, in the high style of a Noël Coward play, Amanda (LIZ) and Elyot (JAMES), two ex-spouses, are horrified to find out that they share adjoining balconies with each other on their current honeymoons. As a faint piano plays strains of "Someday I'll Find You", Amanda and Elyot reminisce about the past and talk of their current loves.
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