Proper Condom Use
| "Proper Condom Use" | |
|---|---|
| South Park episode | |
| Episode no. | Season 5 Episode 7 |
| Directed by | Trey Parker |
| Written by | Trey Parker |
| Production code | 507 |
| Original air date | August 1, 2001 |
"Proper Condom Use" is the seventh episode of the fifth season of the animated television series South Park, and the 72nd episode of the series overall. "Proper Condom Use" originally aired in the United States on August 1, 2001 on Comedy Central.
Stan and Kyle are playing with their Jennifer Lopez play set (and by playing, they are using a magnifying glass to melt it while Kyle does Lopez' screams of pain) when Cartman excitedly tells them to come with him to Kenny's house. Playing "red rocket", and repeating the word, he stimulates Kenny's dog to the point of ejaculation, or, as he says, "milks the dog".
Stan, thinking that what Cartman did was cool, demonstrates the technique on his own dog Sparky in front of his parents and their friends (the Stotches, the Blacks, the Tweaks and the Tuckers) during a book club meeting, for which he is grounded for ten months. Stan cannot understand why he is being punished, as his parents are too embarrassed to explain sexual stimulation to him, and decide that the school should be responsible for teaching sex education.
Mr. Mackey tries to teach the fourth grade boys about a male anatomy and female anatomy and the mechanics of sexual intercourse. Not having had sex since he was 19, 21 years earlier, Mr. Mackey cannot teach the boys anything of use. Ms. Choksondik, intending to scare the girls into safe sex, spends her lesson teaching the girls about all the different types of STDs that they might catch if the boys are not wearing condoms, but leaves out the most important detail, that in order to catch these diseases, they would first need to have sex (presumably because she feels it seems so obvious). The boys try talking to Chef, the only person who actually has sexual experience, but he (who was opposed to the sex ed class and wanted the children to keep their naivety) doesn't tell them anything. The girls, who were just curious at first, become so terrified of the boys that, upon being approached by them at lunch to swap notes, they back away in terror, and scream in fright when they learn the boys aren't wearing condoms. Scared they will catch a disease, the boys then go to the pharmacy where the male pharmacist at first refuses to sell them condoms, stating that they are too young and that teaching sex education in elementary schools is wrong. The female pharmacist sells them the condoms because she wants them to be safe if they are having sex.
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