Pirates of the Great Salt Lake

Pirates of the Great Salt Lake is a film made in 2006 by Blueshift Entertainment. The film was directed by E.R Nelson and starred Kirby Heyborne and Trenton James. The film won two awards at the Foursite Film Festival. The film was filmed on location in Salt Lake City, Utah.

Captain Kirk Redgrave and his first mate, Flint Weaver, are two pirates who set out to be the fiercest pirates on the Great Sea (the Great Salt Lake). The movie begins with a man in white using a metal detector on the beach. He happens upon a sleeping Kirk and begins to tell the audience the legend of a young man who wanted to find his fortune. On his journey, the young man meets a mapmaker and ends up at a cursed mountain cave filled with treasure. While taking the riches, he is attacked by the skeleton in the cave and killed, ripping the map in his attempt to escape.

Back at the Great Sea, after Flint and Kirk "raid" a boat, Kirk finds a map tucked into the inside of a shoe Flint fished out of the lake. The two can't help but plunder an unattended corn stall on their way to bike to the library to find the origin of the mysterious map. Once there, a librarian aids the boys by telling them "either it's real, or it's fake". She shows them a page in an encyclopedia containing the second half of the map. Unfortunately, the book is from "General Reference" and cannot be checked out, much to Kirk's irritation. While trying to tear the page out of the book, Kirk notices an unattended photo copying machine, which they use to photocopy the page and their faces. Later, Kirk becomes frustrated and throws away the map, complaining he can't decipher it because a "pirate map is only good to the pirate who made it". Flint saves the map.

While camping outside on the beach, Kirk recounts the story of how he became a pirate three weeks ago (Skulls & Crossbones in the Closet). His mother walks in on him dressed as a pirate, wearing makeup, watching pirate movies and fashioning his own sword, all while speaking in an English accent. She is disgusted and announces she is taking him to the doctor because this "perversity" is "not natural". After she says he's not a pirate, Kirk takes his leave, putting on his eyepatch and tucking in his sword. He steals a tandem bike and disappears off into the night. As he continues to talk with Flint, they come across the problem of their ship, Jolly Old St. Nick, which has a large hole in the bottom of it. Kirk maintains the ship is "hardly scratched" (Holy Ship).

The next day, while relaxing in the hot sun, Flint speaks more of the map, but he is cut off by Kirk, who notices an elderly woman and her father picnicking. They run across a large expanse of land before approaching the two picnickers, completely exhausted and out of breath. The woman congratulates Kirk and Flint on their good acting before giving them drinks and food. Kirk becomes irritated when the woman isn't intimidated by their pirate ways and walks off in exasperation. Flint explains how Captain Kirk can't eat any thing he doesn't steal, because "it's the pirate's way". While the old man complains how he hates Star Trek, the woman revokes her offer with a wink before handing Flint the food and watching him run off to tell Kirk how he stole the food while her back was turned. Kirk then complains about how pirates are no longer menacing because of "that damn Johnny Depp". He admits "maybe it's time to lower the flag". Flint again mentions the map and how it could solve all their problems; they could hire a menacing, bloodthirsty crew, buy a real ship and swords and girlfriends. Kirk then claims he's been thinking about the map, and he thinks it's time to start an expedition. They plunder a child's cookie and juice stand and are chased by a mother with a newspaper. While enjoying their rewards, Flint accidentally spills juice across the map, revealing a coincidental symbol. It is identical to the symbol on the Mount Crevice Real Estate sign Flint had fished out of the lake at the beginning of the movie. After calling the number and arguing about whether the Great Salt Lake is a sea or an inland lake, Flint realizes it's not Mount Crevice Real Estate they're after, it's Mount Crevice herself.

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