Parade (Bottom)
| "Parade" | |
|---|---|
| Bottom episode | |
| Episode no. |
Series Two Episode 004 |
| Directed by | Ed Bye |
| Written by | Ade Edmondson & Rik Mayall |
| Produced by | Ed Bye |
| Original air date | 22 October 1992 |
"Parade" is the fourth episode of the second series of British television sitcom, Bottom. It was first broadcast on 22 October 1992. This was the first of three episodes not to be set in the flat at all.
Eddie and Richie steal a war veteran's wooden leg to bet on a horse.
The episode begins with Richie and Eddie acting as volunteers in an identity parade. A suited man is accompanied into the room by a uniformed police officer, whom Richie insults, assuming him to be the criminal. It turns out, however, to be a member of CID, Chief Inspector Grobbelaar. The suspects are brought in, who turn out to be Eddie's friends Spudgun and Dave Hedgehog. Spudgun's mother, Mrs. Potato, enters the room and identifies him as stealing her handbag to take to a cross-dressing party. Chief Inspector Grobbelaar orders one of the officers to take her outside and give her a good drubbing.
Next, we see Richie and Eddie entering their local pub, The Lamb and Flag. They go to order drinks with their earnings from the identity parade, and notice that there is a new barmaid. The two pretend to be health and safety officers in order to get free food and drinks. Spudgun, Dave Hedgehog and Mrs. Potato are also posing as health and safety officers, and are planning their next identity parade that afternoon. Richie tries to chat up the barmaid (Julia Sawalha), complimenting her on her "short summer frock" and asking whether she uses Timotei shampoo. While doing so, he claims he was a soldier in the Falklands War. This catches the attention of a nearby drinker (Robert Llewellyn), who actually fought in the war, who starts questioning him.
Meanwhile, the toilet door bursts open, and a man staggers drunkenly into the bar and collapses, where a visibly shocked Richie announces that it is the local bookmaker, tight-mouthed Larry. Larry then vomits at their feet, leading a confused Eddie to point out that he isn't being very tight-mouthed today. The Falklands veteran begins questioning Richie again, and shows him his service medal. Richie is shocked and doesn't know what to say. The war veteran also shows Richie that he lost his leg in the war and now has a false leg made of carved wood. He carries on questioning Richie and works out that he was lying about being in the Falklands War. Richie shows the veteran his appendix scar. This doesn't impress the veteran, who thinks that Richie is showing him his "very small" penis and beats him up. Then Tight-Mouthed Larry reappears and tells the entire pub of a horse, Sad Ken, that is certain to win despite having 100/1 odds. He tells everyone in the pub that it is a secret and to forget it before he leaves.
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