Open marriage

Open marriage typically refers to a marriage in which the partners agree that each may engage in extramarital sexual relationships, without this being regarded as infidelity. There are many different styles of open marriage (such as swinging and polyamory), each with the partners having varying levels of input on their spouse's activities.

The origins of the term remain obscure. Researchers in the 1960s used the term "open marriage" to describe individual freedom in choosing marriage partners. A "closed marriage" said individuals had to marry someone based on social conventions and proscriptions; "open marriage" meant individuals could choose to marry someone based on personal preferences.

Nena O'Neill and George O'Neill changed the meaning of the term with the 1972 publication of their book Open Marriage, which sold over 1.5 million copies. The O'Neills conceived open marriage as one in which each partner has room for personal growth and can develop outside friendships. Most chapters in the book dealt with non-controversial approaches to revitalizing marriage in areas of trust, role flexibility, communication, identity, and equality. Chapter 16, entitled "Love Without Jealousy", devoted 20 pages to the proposition that an open marriage could include some forms of sexuality with other partners. These concepts entered the cultural consciousness and the term "open marriage" became a synonym for sexually non-monogamous marriage—much to the regret of the O'Neills.

In her 1977 book, The Marriage Premise, Nena O'Neill advocated sexual fidelity in the chapter with that same name. That year, she told the New York Times, "The whole area of extramarital sex is touchy. I don't think we ever saw it as a concept for the majority, and certainly it has not proved to be." However, by then, the use of the term "open marriage" to mean sexually non-monogamous marriage was in widespread use.

George O'Neill died in 1980; Nena died in 2006.

Today, with many committed couples not seeking formal marriage, the term is frequently generalized to "open relationship" or "responsible non-monogamy".

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