"No Aphrodisiac" is the third single by Australian rock group, the Whitlams, from their third album, Eternal Nightcap. It was released as a CD maxi, with three B-sides and a remix version of the lead track, on 14 December 1997; which peaked at No. 59 on the ARIA Singles Chart. The lead track was written by the band's founding mainstay, Tim Freedman, together with Pinky Beecroft (Matt Ford) and Chit Chat Von Loopin Stab (Glen Dormand): both from the band, Machine Gun Fellatio. It was produced by Freedman with Rob Taylor. "No Aphrodisiac" won Song of the Year at the ARIA Music Awards of 1998.

The lead track is the band's most well known song on national youth radio station, Triple J: it was listed at No. 1 on their Hottest 100 for 1997. Former Australian Prime Minister Gough Whitlam, for whom the band was named, announced news of their win on air. One of its B-sides is "Gough". Machine Gun Fellatio provided a re-mix of "No Aphrodisiac" for the remixes version of the single.

"No Aphrodisiac" was written for Freedman's then-girlfriend, who was living in Melbourne, while he was in Sydney. He later recalled, "We were growing apart, not writing to each other so much... Pinky Beecroft and Chit Chat had just played me a demo of theirs, which consisted of very funny personal classifieds, and we used 6 lines of that to finish the song." One of the lyric lines is "truth, beauty and a picture of you", Freedman later explained "their role in the song is just to be comedic. I'm saying 'I miss you but the universe will turn me on in your absence'. Truth of course doesn't exist, and beauty is all."

AllMusic's Jonathan Lewis felt it was "a melancholy, piano-driven song about long-distance relationships". According to Bernard Zuel of The Sydney Morning Herald, it was "A ballad about infidelity, or even masturbation – 'there's no aphrodisiac like loneliness' – it became a national love-song request. The single was released independently by Freedman's own label, had no film clip, no commercial radio airplay and no marketing budget."

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