Nice guy

A nice guy is an informal term for an (often young) adult male who portrays himself as gentle, compassionate, sensitive and/or vulnerable. The term is used both positively and negatively. When used positively, and particularly when used as a preference or description by someone else, it is intended to imply a male who puts the needs of others before his own, avoids confrontations, does favors, gives emotional support, tries to stay out of trouble, and generally acts nicely towards others. In the context of a relationship, it may also refer to traits of honesty, loyalty, romanticism, courtesy and respect. When used negatively, a nice guy implies a male who is unassertive, does not express his true feelings and, in the context of dating (in which the term is often used), dishonestly uses acts of friendship with the unstated aim of progressing to a romantic or sexual relationship.

The results of the research on romantic perception of "nice guys" are mixed and often inconsistent. Herold & Milhausen conclude that "the answer to the question 'Do nice guys finish last?' is complicated in that it is influenced both by the measurement instruments used and by subject characteristics."

Studies that explicitly use the term "nice guy" sometimes cite research that does not directly use the term, but which addresses behaviours that are often associated with "niceness."

One difficulty in studying the "nice guy" phenomenon is due to the ambiguity of the "nice guy" construct. Participants in studies interpret "nice guy" to mean different things.

In their qualitative analysis, Herold and Milhausen found that women associate different qualities with the "nice guy" label: "Some women offered flattering interpretations of the 'nice guy', characterizing him as committed, caring, and respectful of women. Some women, however, emphasized more negative aspects, considering the 'nice guy' to be boring, lacking confidence, and unattractive." The "jerks" were also divided into two categories, "as either confident, attractive, sexy, and exciting or as manipulative, unfaithful, disrespectful of women, and interested only in sex."

Researchers have therefore operationalized the "nice guy" and "jerk" constructs in different ways, some of which are outlined below.

Various studies explicitly try to elucidate the success, or lack thereof, of "nice guys" with women.

These studies also cite other research on heterosexual attraction that does not mention the "nice guy" term. They interpret various studies on female attraction to various traits in men (e.g. dominance, agreeableness, physical attractiveness, wealth, etc.), and on the sexual success of men with different personality traits, to shed light on the "nice guy" phenomenon.

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