Jeeves and the Chump Cyril

"Jeeves and the Chump Cyril"
1918 Strand illustration by A. Leete
Author	P. G. Wodehouse
Country	United Kingdom
Language	English
Series	Jeeves
Genre(s)	Comedy
Publisher	Saturday Evening Post
Media type	Print (Magazine)
Publication date	June 1918
Preceded by	"Sir Roderick Comes to Lunch"
Followed by	"Comrade Bingo"

"Jeeves and the Chump Cyril" is a short story by P. G. Wodehouse, and features the young gentleman Bertie Wooster and his valet Jeeves. The story was published in the Saturday Evening Post in New York in June 1918, and in The Strand Magazine in London in August 1918. The story was also included in the 1923 collection The Inimitable Jeeves as two separate chapters, "A Letter of Introduction" and "Startling Dressiness of a Lift Attendant".

One morning in New York, Jeeves tells Bertie a Cyril Bassington-Bassington visited earlier, with a letter of introduction from Aunt Agatha, and will return later. Hoping to return to England in time for Goodwood, Bertie decides to appease his menacing Aunt Agatha by treating Cyril kindly. Bertie wears purple socks, though Jeeves disapproves. Cyril does not appear, so Bertie goes out to a club with a new pal, the playwright George Caffyn. Jeeves comes to the club, and informs Bertie that Cyril is in prison.

Bertie, Jeeves, and George go to the police station, and learn the hot-tempered Cyril had shoved a policeman. Bertie pays his bail. Cyril befriends George. Later, Bertie receives a cable from Aunt Agatha, instructing Bertie not to introduce Cyril to anyone involved with theatre. Bertie is concerned, but Jeeves is unsympathetic due to the purple socks.

Cyril visits Bertie and says he has a small part in George's musical comedy, Ask Dad. Though Cyril is supposed to go to Washington to improve himself, he has actually come to New York to perform, against his father's wishes. Bertie calls to ask George to remove Cyril from the show, but George refuses. At night, Bertie knocks on Jeeves's door. Jeeves, who was reading, appears in a dressing gown. Bertie tells him that Aunt Agatha will blame him if Cyril performs. Jeeves will consider the problem.

A letter from Aunt Agatha arrives, demanding that Bertie keep Cyril off the stage. Disturbed, Bertie seeks Jeeves, and finds him in the kitchen, entertaining a boy and the boy's father's valet, whom Jeeves knows. Bertie shows Jeeves the letter. Cyril appears, and the boy says Cyril has a fish-face. This angers Cyril, and a confused altercation occurs. The boy gets away, yelling that Jeeves paid him to insult Cyril. Cyril and Bertie doubt this.

George invites Bertie to a run-through of his show. From the back of the theatre, Bertie sees that the boy from earlier is the son of the manager, Blumenfield. Blumenfield listens to all his son's opinions about the show; George suggests that this is because Blumenfield thinks a child has the same amount of intelligence as the average audience member. When the boy notices Cyril on stage, he says Cyril's face is no good, and Blumenfield agrees. Cyril yells at them, and Blumenfield fires Cyril.