If I'm Dyin', I'm Lyin'
| "If I'm Dyin', I'm Lyin'" | |
|---|---|
| Family Guy episode | |
| Episode no. | Season 2 Episode 9 |
| Directed by | Swinton O. Scott III |
| Written by | Chris Sheridan |
| Production code | 1ACX12 |
| Original air date | April 4, 2000 |
| Guest appearance(s) | |
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"If I'm Dyin', I'm Lyin'" is the ninth episode of the second season of the FOX animated series Family Guy. It was the 16th episode of Family Guy to be aired. It was produced for season one but aired in season two. It guest-starred Martin Mull as Mr. Harris, and Fred Tatasciore as Chevy Chase.
Chris has been failing school recently, and Lois forbids him from watching TV until his grades improve. Lois suggests to Peter that he help Chris with his study skills. This prompts Peter to lie to her about studying so that he and Chris can watch their favorite television show, Gumbel 2 Gumbel: Beach Justice, a crime drama starring brothers Bryant and Greg Gumbel. However, he is disappointed to discover that the show has been canceled. To get it back on the air, Peter decides to tell the Grant-a-Dream Foundation that Chris is suffering from a made-up terminal illness called "tumorsyphilisitisosis", the symptoms of which include growing extra nipples (actually pepperoni slices) across one's torso, and that being able to watch the show is his dying wish.
Because of this (and because everyone thinks the name of the disease is sexy) an agreement is brokered between Grant-a-Dream and NBC in which Gumbel 2 Gumbel will be put back on the air if NBC can get the film rights to Chris's death. Peter is overjoyed with Gumbel 2 Gumbel back on the air, and Chris uses his "illness" to his advantage in school. However, Peter panics upon learning that mourners are holding a candlelit vigil on their front lawn. When the network comes to claim their part of the deal, Lois finds out about the scam and tells Peter to tell the truth. However, he finds out that he would face jail time for defrauding a charitable organization if he does. Acting out of desperation, he casually claims to have cured him with newfound healing powers and gets off the hook.
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