I Was Killing When Killing Wasn't Cool

"I Was Killing When Killing Wasn't Cool" is an 8-page comic by Al Columbia that appeared in the fourth issue (August 1995) of the comics anthology Zero Zero. It was originally created for the never-completed third issue (#2) of Columbia's solo comic book series The Biologic Show.

Seymour Sunshine and Knishkebibble the Monkey-Boy read an announcement by Alexander Crowley promising a reward "in excess of $1,000,000,000" to whoever can acquire one of the hummingbird pies baked by Cinnamon Jack, a blind man said to have murdered his own twin brother. The garrulous, impulsive Knishkebibble browbeats the mute, reluctant Seymour into joining him in an attempt to recover one of the pies. As the two approach Cinnamon Jack's cottage, they find it surrounded by the impaled heads of his victims. Jack, a scowling, heavyset man wearing dark glasses and carrying an oversized folding blade, stands in front of the doorway. When Knishkebibble rudely demands one of his pies, Jack cuts off Seymour's nose, then attacks Knishkebibble. Knishkebibble dodges Jack's swings and kills him by prying off most of his head from his jaw. He hands Seymour's nose back to him with a resigned sigh, and they enter the cottage.

The two are disappointed to find the inside of Jack's single-room dwelling barren except for a bathtub, a mirror, and a bowl containing the remains of a small animal. While Knishkebibble amuses himself in the empty bathtub, Seymour looks into the mirror and is puzzled by the appearance of an orange dot in the center of his forehead. When he touches it he experiences a vision of his brain being removed from his skull, and shuts his eyes in fear. Reopening them, he finds a pale doppelgänger with pointed ears grinning at him in the mirror. Seymour flees across the room in a panic and runs into a wall, knocking himself unconscious. The doppelgänger climbs out of the mirror and capers about the room while transforming his body in strange ways. Turning his hand into a revolver, he shoots and kills Knishkebibble.

Coming to, Seymour picks up a brick laying on the floor and throws it at the doppelgänger, but the projectile dissolves in a swarm of moths. The doppelgänger surprises Seymour by offering a handshake, which he hesitantly accepts, and telling him "Pleased to make your acquaintance." As the two shake hands, the doppelgänger's hand transforms into a pair of clippers which cut Seymour's hand off at the wrist. Seymour glances down at his severed limb in alarm, then looks up to see the doppelgänger's head changing into a malevolent, serpentlike form as it moves towards him. The story ends enigmatically with a view of the cottage at dusk.

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