I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle

I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle
Directed by	Dirk Campbell
Produced by	Jim Allan Mycal Miller John Wolskel
Written by	Mycal Miller John Wolskel
Starring	Neil Morrissey Amanda Noar Michael Elphick Anthony Daniels Andrew Powell George Rossi Daniel Peacock Midge Taylor David Daker Burt Kwouk Paula Ann Bland Ed Devereaux John Wolskel
Music by	Dean Friedman
Cinematography	Tom Ingle
Edited by	Mycal Miller
Distributed by	Hobo Film Enterprises Ltd
Release date	1990 1990
Running time	101 min.
Country	United Kingdom United States
Language	English

I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle is a 1990 low-budget comedy horror about a motorcycle possessed by an evil spirit.

Set in a Birmingham, England suburb, the film is about a man named Noddy and his girlfriend Kim who operate a motorcycle courier business. One day Noddy bought a classic motorbike, a 850cc Norton Commando, and restored it. That motorbike, however, is possessed by the evil spirit of a man who was being summoned by an occultist who was killed by a motorbike gang. Whenever the spirit is overcome by a seeming blood lust, the bike would start up, ride on its own and kill people, particularly members of the Hells Angels.

Michael Elphick plays Inspector Cleaver and Anthony Daniels plays the eccentric priest who attempts to exorcise the bike’s evil spirit.

A motorbike gang kills an occultist with a crossbow during a satanic ritual. An evil spirit inhabits a damaged bike. Noddy is then seen purchasing that very motorcycle for the price of £1100 from a dealer, but he tells Kim he only paid £600. He proceeds to take it home and fix, with his friend, Buzzer, and girlfriend, Kim, the damage caused by the crossbow by replacing the fuel tank. Buzzer steals the petrol cap for "funsies" but then the bike kills him by decapitation.

It is revealed to the audience that the vehicle has become a bloodthirsty monster. Noddy goes to the scene of the crime where he meets an inspector who smells like garlic. Later, Noddy has a bad dream that the inspector gives him Buzzer's head in a bag and it talks at him but then he wakes up. Then he goes back to sleep and dreams Buzzer is a poo that jumps in his mouth and starts asking how he is. Noddy wakes up again and is chewing his duvet. Noddy and Kim go to the pub and order a large vodka tonic and a pint of cider. Then ten of the bikers from the beginning come in and shoot the bar with the crossbow. One then offers to show Kim his "chopper" while she is playing pool. She declines, claiming not to have brought her magnifying glass. He then proceeds to unsheathe an axe and attack the pool table and moving onto plates, starting a bar wide brawl of 10 bikers against our protagonists. Kim manages to slip out the front and drive the bike round the back of the pub where Noddy jumps on it from the first floor and then gets shot with a crossbow bolt.

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