"Europa and the Pirate Twins" is a song by English artist Thomas Dolby, featured on his 1982 album The Golden Age of Wireless. Written by Dolby, who produced it alongside Tim Friese-Greene, the song was released as a single on 3 October 1981.

The song, described as a "synth pop classic", was inspired by the atmosphere of World War II, and features a guest appearance by XTC's Andy Partridge. The single reached a peak position of 48 in the United Kingdom, Dolby's home country, as well as charting in the United States and Canada.

Taken from the album The Golden Age of Wireless, "Europa and the Pirate Twins" was written by Thomas Dolby, who produced it in collaboration with Tim Friese-Greene. The song opens with a "bluesy" harmonica solo, performed by Andy Partridge of the band XTC. The song makes use of electronic drums, and features a "high-register" synthesiser line throughout. The song's main musical hook is a "Bo Diddley beat", a repetitive rhythm common in several musical genres.

Drowned in Sound's Joseph Stannard has noted that "Europa and the Pirate Twins" is written with World War II as a strong influence, and that the song "emphasises the short distance between [Dolby's] generation and the one which endured the last global conflict". Dolby has described the song, along with the tone of the album, as reflecting "a sense of [a] relationship that's going on as being overwhelmed by something on a grander level", adding that "there's a very strong wartime atmosphere to it". The song was described as "a semi-autobiographical romp" in the liner notes for Dolby's 2009 greatest hits album The Singular Thomas Dolby, the release of which was overseen by the singer. "Europa and the Pirate Twins" received a "sequel" on Dolby's 1992 album Astronauts & Heretics, in the song "Eastern Bloc"; which has been described by Audio magazine as "appealingly faithful" to the original.

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