Effects of adoption on the birth-mother

The effects of adoption on the birth-mother are the stigmatizations and psychological effects women may experience when they place their child for adoption. The general inadequacy of post-separation counseling is a common finding of the few studies done.

The decision to relinquish birth rights of a child is a heavy burden on the psychological makeup of a birth mother. Birth mothers may feel a sense of loss for someone who is still alive. She may mourn the loss of her mothering role and may mourn for who her child may have become as her son or daughter. These feelings may resurface in later years, perhaps on the child’s birthday, or other important milestones in the child’s life. Some doctors report that birth mothers feel grief when they have more children because it may frequently evoke the memory of the child they gave up. If they are faced with future infertility, they may believe it is a form of “punishment” for relinquishing their parenting rights over the child.Many birth mothers continue to mourn the loss of their child, but with varying intensity.

It is not until a mother actually places her child for adoption that she experiences what Julie Axelrod believes is similar to the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Inspired by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s On Death and Dying, the author attempts to show how those who have experienced the death of a loved one may be psychologically similar to a birth mother who has placed her child for adoption.

The following occurs in each stage:

The overwhelming nature of the mother’s emotions allow her to feel numb to the situation. Essentially, reality has not set in.

This emotion is a manifestation of reality, the understanding of how devastating an impact the mother's decision has made on her and her understandable vulnerability. This may cause the mother to lash out to those closest to her or on herself.

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