"Detachable Penis" is a song by avant-garde band King Missile. It was the first single from the band's 1992 album Happy Hour, and became a modest hit, reaching No.25 on the Billboard Modern Rock Tracks chart.

In "Detachable Penis", frontman John S. Hall recites a deadpan monologue in which he portrays the owner of the eponymous penis. After a night of heavy drinking at a party, the narrator awakens at his East Village home and finds that his penis is missing, which has happened to him often on similar occasions. Despite his best efforts, he is unable to recover his penis.

Depressed, he goes to the Kiev Restaurant for breakfast. Afterwards, he serendipitously encounters a street vendor who has possession of the missing penis. After negotiating for a better price, he purchases his penis back. After returning home, he reattaches it, relieving his distress.

The lyrics also discuss the relative merits and disadvantages of having a detachable penis. The narrator concludes that having a detachable penis is advantageous overall.

Besides the general absurdity of the situation described, the lyrics also make use of several puns and other forms of humor.

The music of "Detachable Penis" consists largely of a distorted, delay-treated electric guitar riff backed by organ and drum grooves with brief lead guitar improvisation. For most of the track, the titular phrase is sung with an interval of approximately four seconds, or more accurately two 4/4 bars, the length of the guitar riff. The riff provides a harmonic ground of C# minor - G major - A major, which remains unchanged throughout the song.

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