"Cognoscenti vs. Intelligentsia" (also known as "C vs. I", meaning "the experts versus the intellectual elite") is a song by the Cuban Boys. The song consists almost in its entirety of a sampled loop from "Whistle Stop" by Roger Miller which was featured in the Disney movie Robin Hood. The sample was first featured on the Internet as part of "The Hampster Dance" song on the website of the same name.

The song's closing lines are of an announcer of a children's radio show:

This last line, usually omitted on radio play, is itself a sample from Kermit Schafer's 1950s "recreation" of a supposed on-air blooper by 1920s children's radio presenter, "Uncle Don". In fact, this faux pas is an urban legend. The sample caused many complaints to the band's label EMI, enough for a Parental Advisory sticker to be included on the single by the end of the single's first week of release, presumably by those assuming the song to be aimed at children. Additionally, the sample was left unedited on Now 45 and when the song was played by Jo Whiley on BBC Radio 1 in November, the broadcast of the song which eventually greenlit the single's release by EMI, the sample was again unedited, causing much controversy.

Another notable quote within the song is taken from the 1950s dramatization of Jules Verne's Journey to the Center of the Earth: "Don't be too happy. After a couple of months of this you'll be smacking your lips at the thought of salt beef."

The song was first aired on John Peel's BBC Radio 1 show on April 7, 1999 and quickly became one of the most requested songs on his show, surpassing even "God Save the Queen" by the Sex Pistols.

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