Bryan Strauchan

Bryan Strauchan
Peter Helliar as Bryan Strauchan in 2008
Personal information
Full name	Bryan Keith Strauchan
Date of birth	1984 (age 32–33)
Place of birth	Horsham, Victoria
Original team(s)	Horsham Reserves
Draft	Final pick, 2004 National Draft
Playing career1
Years	Club	Games (Goals)
2004–2009	Collingwood	0 (0)
Representative team honours
Years	Team	Games (Goals)
2007–	Victoria (Legends Game)	4 (8)
1 Playing statistics correct to the end of 2009. 2 State and international statistics correct as of 2008.
Career highlights
Fictional Final Pick National Draft 2004 Captain of the Asian Team of the Century Real E. J. Whitten Legends Game: 2007, 2008 Co-captain of Victoria (EJ Whitten Legends Game): 2008

Fictional

Real

Bryan Keith Strauchan (pronounced: "Strawn"), better known as "Strauchanie", is a fictional Australian rules football player, portrayed by Peter Helliar, who first appeared during short sketches on Before the Game.

Strauchanie is represented as a talentless, overweight bogan, oblivious to his own lack of ability, who fictionally occupied a position on the Collingwood Football Club's playing list, until he announced his retirement in early April 2009 on Triple M, where Helliar works. Helliar wears a recognisable blond mullet wig in his portrayal of Strauchan.

Through his regular segment on Before the Game, Strauchanie became a popular character for his combination of country football stereotypes and jokes about contemporary issues in the AFL. Helliar has since made celebrity appearances in character as Strauchan, often performing in charity sports events.

Bryan Strauchan was born in 1984 to Roy and Soy Bean Strauchan in the country town of Horsham, Victoria. He is of Asian descent through his maternal parentage, although his appearance shows no physical Asian traits.

He played his formative years of football in Horsham, reaching no higher than the reserves; nevertheless, he was selected by the Collingwood Football Club with the last pick in the 2004 National Draft. Strauchan's progress was hampered by weight issues, lack of speed and skills that require considerable work. He wears guernsey number 59, indicative of his mediocrity (AFL players seldom retain numbers higher than 40 longer than their junior years and almost never wear numbers higher than 50). He never made his Australian Football League (AFL) debut, however former Collingwood coach Mick Malthouse had hinted that promotion may have be around the corner. Strauchan was purportedly named in the senior team for Collingwood's match against Sydney in 2005, but accidentally locked himself in a stairwell, which caused him to miss the game. He also has his own AFL footy card that describes all of his mediocre abilities.