Arthur Guiterman

Arthur Guiterman (/ˈɡɪtərmən/; November 20, 1871 – January 11, 1943) was an American writer best known for his humorous poems.

Guiterman was born of American parents in Vienna, graduated from the College of the City of New York in 1891, and was married in 1909 to Vida Lindo. He was an editor of the Woman's Home Companion and the Literary Digest. In 1910, he cofounded the Poetry Society of America, and later served as its president in 1925–26.

An example of his humour is a poem that talks about modern progress, with rhyming couplets such as "First dentistry was painless;/Then bicycles were chainless". It ends on a more telling note:

The latest steel is rustless,
Our tennis courts are sodless,
Our new religions, godless.

Another Guiterman poem, "On the Vanity of Earthly Greatness", illustrates the philosophy also incorporated into his humorous rhymes:

Of mastodons, are billiard balls.
The sword of Charlemagne the Just
Is Ferric Oxide, known as rust.
The grizzly bear, whose potent hug,
Was feared by all, is now a rug.
Great Caesar's bust is on the shelf,
And I don't feel so well myself.

Perhaps his most-quoted poem is his clever 1936 "DARling" satire about the Daughters of the American Revolution (and three other clubs open only to descendants of pre-Independence British Americans). That poem has a unique, intricate, strongly dramatic rhythmical structure...as analyzed, line by line and syllable by syllable, below. The number of syllables in each line is shown in [brackets]. Strong accents are indicated by !. No accent, or a weak accent, is indicated by ^.

The D.A.R.lings [5] ^ ! ! ! ^

chatter like starlings [5] !!^ !^

telling their [3] ^^^

ancestors' [3] ^^^

names, [1] !

while grimly aloof, [5] ^ ! ^ ^ !

with looks of reproof, [5] ^ ! ^ ^ !

...
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