Augustine's laws
Augustine's laws were a series of tongue in cheek aphorisms put forth by Norman Ralph Augustine, an American aerospace businessman who served as Under Secretary of the Army from 1975 to 1977. In 1984 he published his laws. The book and several of the laws were the topic of an article in Sound and Vibration magazine in March 2012.
Law Number I: The best way to make a silk purse from a sow's ear is to begin with a silk sow. The same is true of money.
Law Number II: If today were half as good as tomorrow is supposed to be, it would probably be twice as good as yesterday was.
Law Number III: There are no lazy veteran lion hunters.
Law Number IV: If you can afford to advertise, you don't need to.
Law Number V: One-tenth of the participants produce over one-third of the output. Increasing the number of participants merely reduces the average output.
Law Number VI: A hungry dog hunts best. A hungrier dog hunts even better.
Law Number VII: Decreased business base increases overhead. So does increased business base.
Law Number VIII: The most unsuccessful four years in the education of a cost-estimator is fifth grade arithmetic.
Law Number IX: Acronyms and abbreviations should be used to the maximum extent possible to make trivial ideas profound...Q.E.D.
Law Number X: Bulls do not win bullfights; people do. People do not win people fights; lawyers do.
Law Number XI: If the Earth could be made to rotate twice as fast, managers would get twice as much done. If the Earth could be made to rotate twenty times as fast, everyone else would get twice as much done since all the managers would fly off.
Law Number XII: It costs a lot to build bad products.
Law Number XIII: There are many highly successful businesses in the United States. There are also many highly paid executives. The policy is not to intermingle the two.
Law Number XIV: After the year 2015, there will be no airplane crashes. There will be no takeoffs either, because electronics will occupy 100 percent of every airplane's weight.
Law Number XV: The last 10 percent of performance generates one-third of the cost and two-thirds of the problems.
Law Number XVI: In the year 2054, the entire defense budget will purchase just one aircraft. This aircraft will have to be shared by the Air Force and Navy 3-1/2 days each per week except for leap year, when it will be made available to the Marines for the extra day.
...
Wikipedia