Love styles

The color wheel theory of love is an idea created by Canadian psychologist John Alan Lee that describes six styles of love, using several of the Greek words for love. First introduced in his book Colours of Love: An Exploration of the Ways of Loving (1973), Lee defines three primary, three secondary and nine tertiary love styles, describing them in terms of the traditional color wheel. The three primary types are eros, ludus and storge, the three secondary types are mania, pragma and agape.

Eros derived from the Greek term meaning erotic or passionate. Lee describes eros as a passionate physical and emotional love of wanting to satisfy, create sexual contentment, security and aesthetic enjoyment for each other, it also includes creating sexual security for the other by striving to forsake options of sharing one's intimate and sexual self with outsiders. It is a highly sensual, intense, passionate style of love. Erotic lovers choose their lovers by intuition or "chemistry." They are more likely to say they fell in love at first sight than those of other love styles.

Erotic lovers view marriage as an extended Honeymoon, and sex as the ultimate aesthetic experience. They tend to address their lovers with pet names, such as "sweetie" or "sexy". An erotic lover can be perceived as a "hopeless romantic". The erotic lover wants to share everything with and know everything about their loved one, and often thinks of their partner in an idealized manner. The erotic lover’s reaction to criticism from their partner is one of hurt and intense pain. The erotic lover's reaction to separation from the partner is agony and despair. Those of other love styles may see erotic lovers as unrealistic, or trapped in a fantasy.

The advantage of erotic love, is that the hormones and emotions cause lovers to bond with each other, and feelings of lust and feelings of love alternatively reinforce each other. It is very relaxing to the person doing it. It affords a sense security to both partners who recognize and see sexual complementation in each other and a sense of life's purpose. Sexual contentment lies at the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy of needs along with hunger and shelter. It requires both partners to accord validity to each other's sexual feelings, work on sustaining interest and maintain the sexual health of the relationship. A disadvantage is the possibility of the decay in attraction, and the danger of living in a fantasy world. In its extreme, eros can resemble naïveté. A partner not as sexually inclined may also feel one's physical body being taken for granted and may perceive eros lover as looking for carnal gratification.

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