Count Smokula
| Count Smokula | |
|---|---|
| Created by | Robert "Smokey" Miles |
| Portrayed by | Robert "Smokey" Miles |
| Information | |
| Occupation | Comedian, Musician, Actor |
Count Smokula is a comedic fictional character created and portrayed by Robert "Smokey" Miles. He has made numerous live appearances, roles in movies, TV shows and internet videos.
As imagined by Miles, Count Smokula is a 496-year-old accordion-playing vampire with a cape and fez from the vaguely Eastern-European nation of Smokesylvania. He has been described as "Bela Lugosi-meets-Jackie Mason" and as "a sort of Yiddish Dracula, who plays the accordion and exhibits the longest tongue this side of Gene Simmons of KISS" The Count has a thick Smokesylvanian accent (He plays the "sqveezebox" and loves "to rock like you vouldn't believe it"). Music is his first love and the Count Smokula Orchestra started up about 300 years ago in Glipsch, Smokesylvania where he was greatly influenced by Shnotta Shmulevitz, Smokesylvania's most famous singer. But he definitely doesn't suck - as he says "I gave up fangs and blood 300 years ago, my doctor told me too much cholesterol". He subscribes to a belief in Smokulism, a "voild vide" faith revealed to the Count one sleepless night in 1997 after "ingesting a rather large vegetarian pizza in the presence of the Russian Madonna". It is a way of raising ones thoughts up from the dirt and down from the clouds to live in the world as it is, and this National Belief System of Smokesylvania can be achieved by just paying $10 for a certificate to become a true Smokulist.
At an indefinite date, the Count left Smokesylvania (or rather, it left him since he tells us they moved the country stone-by-stone to the South Pacific since "the veather vas too inclement") for Hollywood, California where he planned to make a fortune as a "public excess show host" so he could restore the glory of Smokesylvania.
The Count has been a longtime regular at the annual Doo Dah Parade in Pasadena, the counter-culture answer to the more staid Rose Parade, where he is a familiar and often photographed figure. The Count is one of a number of odd characters who show up for this irreverent and wacky event - to quote him “It’s got to be a bit irregular to be the true Doo Dah” and besides “There’s nothing else vorthvhile in January” He even competed for Queen a few times - a process likened to "a cross between the Miss America pageant and “The Gong Show".
The Count got his start in the Los Angeles underground scene, often performing at burlesque shows, so it is not surprising that he has a special affinity for burlesque and strippers. His relationship with the burlesque revival group, the Fishnet Floozys, has made him MC at a number of their shows in Los Angeles and Hollywood and hosting the "Count Smokula Burlesque Review". Or you might find him as MC for the "Burlesque Cabaret" at the Red Door Gallery in Phoenix, or as the host of Shimmy Magazine's all-star fundraiser in Los Angeles, or maybe performing at the Los Angeles Exotica Burlesque. If there are strippers around, the Count is bound to be near, even if it means trekking out to the Mojave Desert near Route 66 for the annual Miss Exotic World Pageant at the Exotic World Burlesque Museum run by former exotic dancer Dixie Evans.
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Wikipedia