Control freak

In psychology-related slang, the term control freak describes a person who attempts to dictate how everything is done around them. The phrase was first used in the 1970s, an era when stress was laid on the principle of 'doing one's own thing' and letting others do the same.

In the study of personality psychology, certain personality disorders display characteristics involving the need to gain compliance or control over others:

To maintain their self-esteem, and protect their vulnerable selves, narcissists need to control others' behavior – particularly that of their children seen as extensions of themselves.

Control freaks are often perfectionists defending themselves against their own inner vulnerabilities in the belief that if they are not in total control they risk exposing themselves once more to childhood angst. Such persons manipulate and pressure others to change so as to avoid having to change themselves, and use power over others to escape an inner emptiness. When a control freak's pattern is broken, the controller is left with a terrible feeling of powerlessness but feeling their pain and fear brings them back to themselves.

Control freaks appear to have some similarities to codependents, in the sense that the latters' fear of abandonment leads to attempts to control those they are dependent on. Recovery for them entails recognising that being a control freak helped paradoxically preserve codependency itself.

In terms of personality-type theory, control freaks are very much the Type A personality, driven by the need to dominate and control. An obsessive need to control others is also associated with antisocial personality disorder.

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Wikipedia